It has been more than a hundred years since cinema has been around, but there are some things that movies just wouldn’t quit showing.
I don’t have a problem with that; sure, show the good guy winning in the end, winning over a girl, win a battle, crush the villain’s skull – good stuff all around.
But there are some things which I have seen so many times in so many movies that whenever I see them again in any movie, it freaks me out.
1 – When the timer of a bomb stops at 99% or 0.01 seconds before the blast.
Tom Cruise is fighting for the briefcase, oh man, the clock is ticking, will he able to stop the blast. Oh dear lord, only 5 seconds remaining… 4, 3, 2…
*hits the big red button in the center of the briefcase*
Bomb disabled just 1 second before detonation. Phew! That was a close one.
We never thought that he would kill the bomb just 1 second before detonation!
For once, I would like to see a movie disabling a virus at 62% or something or a bomb when the clock is at 2 hours 53 minutes or something like that.
2 – When someone tells a kid “stay here, don’t go anywhere.”
You know damn well that that kid is NOT gonna stay there.
This is especially true for horror movies. I get that it may be a plot thing, but boy, wouldn’t I love to see a kid who, when told to stay at one place, would just stay there.
Just like John Wick’s dog.
3 – When the hero NEVER reloads his gun.
A ‘movie gun’ is clearly superior to normal guns, because a ‘movie gun’ keeps firing for what seems like an eternity, but never requires a reload.
FYI, most regular automatic pistols contain 18 rounds, tops. Once you’ve fired those… YOU RELOAD!
In movies, during a firefight, they almost never show heroes reloading their guns. Even villains, for that matter.
The only guys who DO reload their guns usually are the ‘extras’ of the villain who run out of ammo right when they’re face to face with the hero and have a clean chance of killing him.
They squeeze the trigger, click! uh-oh, they need to reload!
Yeah, because it’s only their guns that need reloading. Why don’t you use ‘movie guns’, dickheads!
4 – When someone orders a beverage and then they don’t drink it.
For all that’s pure in the world, why would they not take a sip, atleast? It irks me to see a fella walk in a cafe, order a coffee, spot a girl, start chatting and leave the goddamn drink to its devices.
5 – When the villain finally corners the hero and has a gun pointed at him, but decides that it’s a better idea to start a pointless conversation.
“I see that I have a gun and you don’t. At this point, why don’t I tell you the story of my goat. Once upon a time, I had a goat named Shelly…..”
I like good guys, you know. I want them to win.
But it drives me crazy when I see the bad guy start chit-chatting when he has a weapon (and his enemy doesn’t) and has a clear advantage.
I think it’s just lazy writing. It shouldn’t come to this that they have to get the villain to engage in small talk with the protagonist, especially when he has such an obvious advantage over the protagonist.
6 – When drivers keep shifting gears and keep going faster and faster.
You know, there is a limit to the number of gears. A regular car has 5 gears, which means, if you’re driving in the 5th gear, it’s the top gear, which means you don’t have any more gears left!
Still, in car-chase sequences, it’s so common to see drivers, who are already going at top speeds supposedly, change gears and hit the gas to go even faster.
7 – When gun silencers completely eliminate a gunshot’s sound.
James Bond puts a silencer on his gun’s nozzle and voila! Now all his gunshots sound like Queen Elizabeth’s spitting. So silent and graceful!
This is plain wrong.
Even the best gun silencers are not even remotely as effective as what they show in movies. A silencer certainly reduces the sound of a gunshot, but it never silences a gunshot.
8 – When stalking and lying are shown to be okay to win a girl’s love.
This one is particularly shitty, because it has a real impact in our lives. I am sure you may have seen countless romantic comedies in which the guy ‘wins over’ a girl by being insolently persistent. So much so, that he also tells many lies and even stalks her, all of which is hunky dory because the girl likes it and finally falls for the guy.
This couldn’t be further from the truth.
Persistence is a good thing, but there are other ways to show it.
Stalking someone, especially when they’ve made it clear that they’re not interested, is not cool.