Friends of Words

Tag: Humor

  • I Don’t Know Why It Should Be, I Am Sure; But The Sight Of Another Man Asleep In Bed When I Am Up, Maddens Me: Jerome K. Jerome

    I Don’t Know Why It Should Be, I Am Sure; But The Sight Of Another Man Asleep In Bed When I Am Up, Maddens Me: Jerome K. Jerome

    I came across this quote during a re-read of the famous comic classic and my personal favorite Three Men in A Boat by Jerome k. Jerome.

    In addition to making me smile, it took me on a trip down the memory lane. I don’t know about you but I cannot bear the thought of having to wake up when everyone around me is still asleep.

    I dread my high school exam days to this date, when this was a fairly common occurrence to me.

    ‘Three Men in a Boat’ is my Agony Aunt – not the one that would listen to my woes
    and suggest alleviation mechanisms, but the one that would make me laugh so hard that I forget about everything else.

    But right after that bout would come a phase of reflection, but more on that later..

    Straight back to school days, living with my siblings. I was (and will be, for the foreseeable future) a late riser.

    I would sleep in until noon on weekends. I used to have just two meals – the one you have after lunch (they call it ‘brunch’, right) and dinner – this way, I would load up on all movies and TV shows I could pack in my weekend waking hours.

    I was the most amiable person you could find on the planet if I could sleep a minimum of 10 hours a day.

    That would, however, not be the case if my siblings slept for 10 hours and 5 minutes. No!

    No one could sleep more than me. No one!

    And over the years, I have realized I am as unique in having this trait as 2 billion others on the planet. There is something very disturbing about someone having more privileges – for me it was sleep back then.

    I value my sleep as much as I did back then, but there are quite a few other items that have been added to the list over the last few years.

    I might be happily getting by with my 1-bed apartment until someone my own age, someone I know, has recently paid off the mortgage on a 3-bed. The same apartment that was a haven for me before, suddenly, feels too cramped.

    It’s not even like we are the only ones that resort to comparison; perhaps all of our parents did that too.

    For instance, imagine a boy who’s jubilant that he got an A in his exams, when his parents were expecting him to get just a B+. Obviously, he ‘exceeded expectations’ of his parents.

    But when he breaks the news to his parents, they hardly seem excited about it. Why?

    Because their neighbor’s kid got an A+.

    The scene changes from enthusiastic congratulations to his parents complaining about he ‘failed’ compared to his classmate. ‘After all’ the parents say, ‘don’t you get the same privileges as that boy who lives next door?’

    The Comparison Monster can creep in all spheres of our life and wreak havoc if we are not watchful. We need to guard our happiness and sanity as fiercely as Joey from Friends guards his food.

    joey doesnt share his food meme

    So, how do we ensure that we are not a permanent resident of Compareville aka Miserytown?

    The answer is pretty simple. Read the following quote once, twice, thrice. Hell, put it up in your living room for good measure:

    “Someone else’s beauty is not the absence of your own.”

     

  • Do What You Can, With What You Have, Where You Are: Theodore Roosevelt

    Do What You Can, With What You Have, Where You Are: Theodore Roosevelt

    As simple as these words sound, the impact that they have when you let them sink in is
    profound.

    Have you seen one of those people that are constantly in their future, either imagining it in all its glory or dreading it?

    I have.

    I am one of those people.

    This is what my day would look like usually –

    meme about how i spend my day

    It’s amazing to think how little I accomplished considering how much I planned.

    Come 1st Jan, and I would stock up on all sorts of planners, agendas, diaries – to plan my days- the professional-looking grey leather-bound, the colorful pink dreamer planners and the ultra chic weekly tear-off To-do list.

    My study would probably look like the stationery aisle of a Staples store. I would be super-pumped and ready to take on the world with all sorts of planners in my arsenal.

    My yearly planner would be more ambitious than a conventional 10-year plan:

    ● Learn French
    ● Learn Spanish
    ● Learn Python
    ● Sleep less
    ● Exercise more
    ● Volunteer more
    ● Get another degree
    ● Enrol in certification programs
    ● Save more

    …. and on and on.

    You might have seen a list like that. There is a good chance you probably tried creating one for yourself. We have all been there at that spot at some point in their lives.

    What would help ensure that we do not end up at the same spot in the future?

    The answer to that puzzle lies in Roosevelt`s quote:

    “Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.”

    We can wait forever for the opportune time to come. That time may never come.

    I totally second Sidney Sheldon when he says “Tomorrow never comes” through the title of one of his most popular novels.

    But one thing we all have and will always is the time NOW.

    Your situation now, however limited it may feel to you, is still something that can get you started.

    Yes, I want to finish that 300-page book in a week, but simply planning and never reading it is not going to help me get there.

    I need to pick it up and start reading even if for just 5 minutes a day.

    Agreed, that I may not be able to finish it in one week; it might take me 3 months instead. But that is still a huge improvement, considering the fact that I wasn’t even going to start at all.

    The skill could be anything – playing music, learning a new language, polishing your photography skills, working on your social skills, practising public speaking… the same rule applies, regardless of your goal: having byte-sized goals for everyday and having a portion of your day dedicated to achieving them.

    Never forget that slow and steady wins the race.

    Alright, alright, alright! Don’t listen to me.

    But you’ll listen to Shia Labeouf – the star of Transformers, right?

    just do it meme

  • Drunken Fireworks by Stephen King: Summary, Analysis and Review

    Drunken Fireworks by Stephen King: Summary, Analysis and Review

    Drunken Fireworks is a short story written by Stephen King. It was first released as an audio book in 2015 as one of the stories in a short fiction novel titled The Bazaar of Bad Dreams. 

    Stephen King mentions an anecdote with this short story, wherein an old woman, recognizing him at a grocery store, told him that she does not like horror stories.

    He did clarify that horror was not the only genre that he has written in. He mentions that he loves to read and write stories that are funny and it shouldn’t surprise anybody, because humor and horror are Siamese twins “you write some scary stories and you’re like the girl who lives in the trailer park on the edge of town: you get a reputation.”

    Too bad that he didn’t write humor as much; because going by what this story offers, we can do as much with King’s humor as with horror, if not more.

    Drunken Fireworks: Summary and Plot Analysis

    The story is narrated by Alden McCausland, who has been taken into custody by the Castlecounty police.

    Alden lives with his mother, and they are what he calls themselves – idle rich, having recently acquired a lot of wealth from his father’s demise followed by a lottery win.

    Both Alden and his mother have comfortably settled in a life that usually involves them spending a lot of time idling around and drinking. They spend most of their summers at Lake Abenaki.

    Their neighbors, on the other side of the lake, are an Italian-American family – The Massimo. They are very rich and owe their wealth to a very successful construction business.

    The McCauslands, however, do not think much of them.

    Thanks to them being Italian and operating a business out of Rhode Island, they are obviously connected to the Mafia, in the eyes of McCauslands.

    Starting from one fateful day of 4th of July celebrations, both families engage inadvertently in what came to be called the “4th of July Arms race”.

    What ensues is an insane game of McCauslands and Massimos going to great lengths to one-up their neighbors. Being ‘trumped’ by the Massimos on almost all occasions, Alden and his mother become more and more desperate to win the next showdown.

    Their desperation takes Alden to forge new connections himself – going to the extent of sourcing “Close Encounters of the Fourth Kind” or “GE4” – illegally.

    In the ensuing showdown, completely oblivious to the dry summers that Castle county had that year, Alden launches the GE4, only to witness that the fireworks go further than the intended purpose of showing Massimos who’s the boss.

    A shift of wind sets the pine trees around Massimo’s house on fire. Soon after, flames engulf the house and destroy it.

    Alden is then arrested by the police.

    fireworks in night sky
    The story Drunken Fireworks has a lot to do with fireworks… duh!

    The police, upon receiving a full statement from Alden, lets him know that Massimo will not be pressing charges, considering that they were also accountable for taking the arms race to ridiculous proportions, eventually leading to damage.

    Alden is not convicted but soon comes to know that his cabin is burned down too and the cause was attributed to his carelessness, keeping the fireworks too close to the stove. He is advised that getting along with that story, and having insurance pay for the damages is the best course of action for him.

    Drunken Fireworks: Analysis and Review

    The story has humor written all over it. Be it Alden’s complete insensitivity to other

    Cultures or his mom avoiding ‘alcohol abstinence’ like leprosy.

    The story is not devoid of time-tested wisdom either. Consider the following for an example:

    “I guess a lot of Ma’s weight gain had to do with coffee brandy, they don’t call it fat ass in a glass for no reason. But she said she was never Miss America to begin with.”

    We have all seen someone like that – family or friend – haven’t we? Oh forget all that , how much it reminds me of myself!

    Look here:

    “something’s gonna kill everyone, am I not right? Doctors have a way of forgetting that but Ma knew.”

    I noticed two things in that statement- the way I have seen our dear elderly folks try to brush off requests for making some healthy changes to lifestyle and the creative excuses that they come up with to counter them and Alden’s dog-like devotion to her mom.

    “..but they were Italian, and Massimo construction was based in Providence, Rhode Island, and you’re cops, you can connect the dots. And Ma always used to say if you put two and two together, you never get five.”

    A sharp comment on the number of babies of Massimos:

    “Massimos must have had half a dozen babies, and they wore colors so bright, they burn your eyes if you looked at them too long.”

    The next one here makes me laugh every time I read it:

    “Someone ought to dip that trumpet in olive oil and stick it up his ass. He could fart out ‘God Bless America.’”

    Alden’s blatant disregard towards his Italian neighbors is so disgusting yet hilarious.

    Some motivational quotes from Drunken Fireworks

    There were a few motivational gems referenced in the story as well. Consider the ones listed below:

    “It ain’t the size of the dog in the fight but the size of fight in the dog.”

    Then there’s this:

    “I didn’t bother telling her no made up story, because she always sees through them and has since I was knee-high to a collie.”

    This one did elicit an aww from me. The mother-and-son relationship shown in this is the only glimpse of love that you get, hiding behind all the humor and stupidity of the characters.

    Mr King does not write humor much and I don’t see why.

  • I Am The Lion Now: Short Story, Summary, Plot Analysis and Review

    I Am The Lion Now: Short Story, Summary, Plot Analysis and Review

    I Am The Lion Now is a short story by Edan Lepucki. It revolves around a pregnant woman that lives in LA with her husband. The couple lead an ordinary life until a possum shows up at their door. 

    No, I am not talking about the famous incident at the Bronx zoo where a woman jumped into a lion’s enclosure and seemed to taunt him.

    I am going to talk about Edan Lepucki’s short story – ‘I am the lion now’.

    I Am The Lion Now: Summary and Plot Analysis

    The story revolves around a pregnant woman named Margaret who lives in an apartment in LA with her husband Toby.

    They seem like a pretty average LA couple differing in one aspect of sexual activity. Margaret maintains a journal of the dates of their ‘deeds’ thinking to herself that someday a biographer would consider it as a  piece of information worth recording while her husband bakes a second cake for her after burning the first one, to satiate her pregnancy craving.

    While Margaret is left to her own thoughts whiling away time in her bath tub, her husband finds a possum (which he mistakes for a rat initially) and in the ensuing chaos, a book burns in the bathroom while a possum runs all across the kitchen with an almost chubby man on its tail.

    Toby comes to like the little possum and even convinces his ‘cold’ wife to provide food and shelter at least for a   night. The baby possum is later located by its family but having seen it touched/tampered by the humans, is left alone.

    A few weeks after the episode, Toby sees the possum, who is a teenager now, only to have it hiss at him.

    He is the lion now.

    I Am The Lion Now Review

    The story is pretty ordinary story until you take into the account how it has been said. This story is written by Lepucki in a very interesting omniscient third person point of view. The style that has been seen on and off in English literature for a long time.

    She has presented the point of view of the animate and inanimate objects alike. It is like a breath of fresh air. Consider the following quotes from the story –

    “The Possum glares and hisses, ‘I am the lion now’”

    There is a reference in the story where Margaret recalls a novel that she recently read about a bunch of zealots in an Afghani zoo where one of them cut a bear’s nose because its beard was too short, while another jumped into a lion’s enclosure and announces himself as a lion, and eventually gets killed. I love how she gave voice to the possum.

    “But I am worth it’ – whispered the book”

    While Margaret lies in the bath tub thinking the book that she is reading is too challenging, and longs to look at a tabloid containing pictures of pregnant celebrities. The book then reads her mind and thinks itself to be worth Margaret’s time.

    A place where books can actually speak with me, for real, oh! that’s what I call dreamland!

    This one cracked me up –

    “They were married, and passion was not greater than cake”

    This references to Toby’s second attempt at making cake for his wife and deliberately not putting the timer on. Simply because he knew that when in the act, they would consider stopping it a more likely scenario than ruining the cake. Laugh-worthy reality of our times, folks!

    “Let the squeamish suffer their fear, let them live without really living. Margaret was safe in her risk taking.”

    This references to Margaret’s bath tub: grimy and rusty near the drain, but that doesn’t scare her, because she does not wash her fruit either and kisses dogs on the mouth. This in Margaret’s mind, is risk taking personified. The life of a modern outlier, eh?

    “All crises, once averted, become jokes”

    After dousing the fire and seeing the remnants of her charred book, Margaret quips ‘Oops, I guess I won’t be reading this’. I couldn’t help but stroll down my own memory lane and smiled.

  • The Seven Lady Godivas: Summary, Plot Analysis and the Reason You’ll Love It

    The Seven Lady Godivas: Summary, Plot Analysis and the Reason You’ll Love It

    The Seven Lady Godivas is an adult illustrated novel – written and illustrated by Dr Seuss – that was originally published in 1939 and then republished in 1987. The novel tells the story of seven Godiva sisters, none of whom ever wear clothing. Wacky, scandalous and oddly unerotic despite the sketches of the nude ladies scattered all over the book, this novel would still make you wonder if you ever actually outgrew Dr. Seuss.

    “You can take a horse to water, but you cannot make it drink”

    I am sure you have heard of this, but did you know that it is one of “horse truths”?

    Confused, eh?

    Enter Dr Seuss with his adult illustrated novel The Seven Lady Godivas: The True Facts Concerning History’s Barest Family. The novel that was first published way back in 1939, provides an account of seven lady Godivas in 11th century Coventry in attempt to explore (horseplay around) the origins of celebrated proverbs – “horse truths” in Seuss’ lingo.

    He declares very early on in the book that ‘there was not one but seven lady Godivas and their nakedness was not actually a thing of shame” referring to the English woman Lady Godiva from the early 11th century that rode naked on the streets to gain a remission on Earl’s (her husband’s) exploitative tax practices.

    Wacky, scandalous and oddly unerotic (despite the sketches of the nude ladies scattered all over the book), this novel would still make you wonder if you ever actually outgrew Dr. Seuss.

    It’s interesting to note that the novel wasn’t successful when it was first launched way back in 1939. In fact, only 2500 copies from the initial print run of 10000, were sold, leading to Seuss calling it his ‘greatest failure’.

    the book cover of the seven lady godivas novel
    The cover of “The Seven Lady Godivas”

    Sometimes the abundance of the sketches of the nude ladies does seem like a cheap titillating tactic, but believe me, this book is more than that.

    You just got to put your ‘horse sense’ to work.

    The Seven Lady Godivas: Summary and Plot Analysis

    Lord Godiva of Coventry has deep admiration for his seven daughters, who do not wear clothes because ‘they chose not to disguise what they are’. He summons them to the castle to bid them goodbye before his departure for the battle of Hastings on a horseback which leaves the sisters nervous considering that the beast hasn’t been tamed yet.

    Rightly so, they are proven right in a few moments when the horse Nathan throws him off itself – leading to the man’s instant death.

    The sisters vow to study and chart horses and refrain from marriage till each one of them have a horse truth, a truth that makes horses safe for posterity.

    This leaves the ‘Peeping’ brothers, the ones dating the seven lady godivas with nothing but a long wait ahead of them. The sisters set off for the truth one after the other and through a series of adventures and misfortunes, eventually come to an understanding about how this majestic beast operates.

    Every proverbs that you may have heard till date, including ‘don’t put a cart before a horse’, ‘never change horses in the middle of the stream’ and so on… you would be truly amazed to see how Dr. Seuss has spun up stories around the proverbs to make sense of them.

    Want to read The Seven Lady Godivas?

    The Seven Lady Godivas is available on Amazon if you want to get yourself a copy. You can use the links given below to check the price of this book:

    Check Price on Amazon US
    Check Price on Amazon Canada
    Check Price on Amazon India

    Why I Love The Seven Lady Godivas

    On the surface this book might seem like a very simple tale, maybe even a little sleazy looking at the illustrations, but beware, this is just the tip of the iceberg. Dive a little deeper and there are parallels that we can draw between the horse truths and our own, and how each of the godiva ladies and their adventures to find the horse truths, have a hidden message somewhere.

    Sometimes serious and sometimes downright funny. Consider Dorcas Godiva for example, she thinks she must research her subject extensively and approach it a scientific way to pave a straight forward but sure shot way to get to her horse truth fast.

    After trying a variety of options with the horse cart and being engaged in the “in the greatest horse-and-tree conflict that Coventry has ever known.”, she comes to realize – ‘never put a cart before a horse’.

    So many times, in our lives we are so focused on the results that we end up underplaying the importance of our means to get there, only to realize in the aftermath that our mad race screwed up our priorities somewhere along the way.

    Consider Arabella Godiva on the other hand, in her quest to uncover her horse truth, she overworks her horse so much that he ends up becoming a drunken bum. And when she stages an intervention by making him drink water from the pump, guess what?

    The horse says-“I’ll die before I touch it.” And he does.

    Does it remind you of a friend or a loved one that was completely unresponsive to your pleas to ‘do it in moderation’?

    How many times have you felt the frustration of ‘sermon’-ing when there was no
    response on the other sides.

    The characters themselves are a window to the variety of people that we meet in our daily lives and depending on our preferences, we associate with.

    Consider Lord Godiva, a liberal but an unprepared moron, Teenie Godiva, an overweight and a curious lady that took her chances even when the going was grim, Dorcas Godiva, uncertainty-averse and a meticulously prepared woman, Hedwig Godiva , an incredibly loyal , dedicated and tenacious woman that didn’t take short cuts, and wanted to do things the right away.

    They all remind us of someone… or maybe ourselves.

    We all have a little godiva in us, don’t we?