Tag: emotional

  • The Seven Moons of Maali Almeida: A Review

    The Seven Moons of Maali Almeida: A Review

    The Seven Moons of Maali Almeida won the Booker Prize in 2022, and it is a captivating read that will engross you in its world. The book explores various themes, such as the afterlife, the experiences of LGBTQ+ individuals, the importance of true friendship, and national and international politics. It also touches on the issue of deforestation, which leaves animals vulnerable and without a home.

    What sets this book apart is its masterful storytelling. The author skillfully weaves various elements into a captivating narrative that includes all the abovementioned themes.

    I was particularly impressed by the imaginative portrayal of the afterlife. The author brings together all the concepts we have heard about life after death and presents them in a free-flowing manner that captivates the reader.

    The narration encompasses a range of human emotions, such as humor, happiness, ecstasy, anguish, fear, lust, anxiety, love, hatred, respect, devotion, and many more intangibles.

    The story begins with Maali Almeida, a Sinhalese, in a crowded room with many other souls. They are all shouting and demanding answers from a few people in white robes behind a few counters. The individuals in white robes are enlightened souls who guide the dead to their respective floors based on their data. It’s a chaotic scene, and the deceased ones have not yet come to terms with their passing.

    When it’s Maali Almeida’s turn, he learns that he has seven moons (seven nights) before he can enter the light.

    But after death and before ‘the light’, there is an in-between inhabited by ghosts and ghosts who prevent the dead from entering light as they feed on the gloom and haplessness of the dead. Maali is a photographer, not the kind who clicks holiday pictures, but the kind who could bring down the government by exposing its savagery and carnage in 83 pogroms and 87 wars.

    The book covers his journey of seven moons while building suspense around his death, which unravels only at the end. It prosaically covers the vagaries of the afterlife and how it’s crowded even there.

    The afterlife also has good people (the ones who want you to go towards the light) and bad people (who tempt you into the vicious circle of finding your murderers and hence being stuck in the ‘in-between’ for a thousand moons and more).

    The text describes a series of events in the author’s life. His childhood was difficult; his father left him and his mother, and he blamed his mother for it. He wasn’t interested in reading during his teenage years and found it bland. However, in adulthood, he discovered his passion for photography and realized that he found certain men beautiful and was not attracted to women at all.

    The story revolves around Mali, Jaki (his female friend who loved him dearly), and DD (his friend and lover). The text also includes a gory description of the war between LTTE and SL and how countless innocent people died in the conflict.

    The book ends with Maali entering the light (it’s not as easy, though; towards the end, the events lead you to believe he might remain stuck in the in-between).

    I enjoyed reading this book. Even though it’s about the afterlife and ghosts, it wasn’t scary. The story is very well written, and every scene is described in a way that feels real and grounded. The way all the events are connected is impressive and unique.

    I highly recommend this book!

  • Can You Handle Living Alone For a Long Time?

    Can You Handle Living Alone For a Long Time?

    A brilliant man seems to be drawing an intricate map of something on a paper that he dutifully conceals in a bible; another one has it drawn all over his body, cleverly disguised. Another one, well, he just seems to be pounding on a decrepit-looking wall with a sledgehammer, and the uniformed people around him are all asleep or maybe heavily sedated. 

    I just gave the last one away, didn’t I? 

    These individuals are all hell-bent on achieving the same goal – breaking out of prison!

    One of my all-time favorite prison break movies is Shawshank Redemption, and I just love the meticulous Andy Dufresne, the prison break they showed in the movie is one of the best I have ever seen. And it very well might be the best. 

    Tim Robbins (left) plays the character of Andy Dufresnse in the movie.

    Although the prison break scene is important, a few other scenes in the movie have piqued my curiosity more.

    In one scene, he hijacks the radio room and plays classical music, smiling contentedly while ignoring the guards pounding on the glass door and attempting to break in. Also, the one where the warden puts him in solitary confinement more than once.

    Latter is the one that I am going to focus on.

    After his first solitary confinement, he leaves his friends somewhat puzzled when he looks upbeat. He wasn’t supposed to. Who would, in their minds, come back refreshed from a seemingly maddening absolute solitude? 

    It was not normal, was it?

    As far as I can remember, I must have heard the phrase ‘Man is a social animal’ at least a hundred times. It’s only very recently that I learned that it was Aristotle that once said, “Man is by nature a social animal, an individual who is unsocial naturally and not accidentally is either beneath our notice or more than human. Society is something that precedes an individual”.

    After all, a lot of human happiness and sorrow are derived from associating with others.

    In this day and age of overstimulation, and over-engagement, solitude gets a lot of bad rap. People dread going to restaurants alone for fear of being judged.

    What would the hotel staff think?

    What would the people sitting next to me think?

    Why is everyone looking at me in pity?

    Doesn’t matter one bit if all those people I worry about are strangers. The thought of being by ourselves is just too scary. There is even a phobia: autophobia (I’m not kidding!). Like every other phobia, it is irrational.

    Solitude, I have figured over time, isn’t that bad. I have found it quite liberating. 

    Although unplanned, my journey was a super basic two-step exercise, in hindsight.

    Step 1: Going to a restaurant alone.

    The initial few solo trips to my favorite Chinese restaurant were quite awkward for me, ‘A table for one doesn’t have a nice ring to it,’ which was an excuse I gave to myself for not going. I decided to ‘be a woman’ and do something about it. I initially carried a fascinating fiction book as a crutch, so when I was immersed in reading it, I wouldn’t care what people around me thought. 

    But I realized that with each subsequent trip, I didn’t have to depend on the book anymore. I was becoming increasingly confident with my request for a ‘table for one,’ asking for things I wanted to eat and eating like it was no one’s business.

    Step 2: Designate a day of the week as a No-cellphone day.

    I would designate either Saturday or Sunday as a no-cellphone day; I would behave as if my cell didn’t exist. 

    It was a bit difficult initially. For the first few weekends, I locked my cell in a suitcase and gave my amiable neighbor the key. This would make accessing it difficult even if I had the urge to have a peek. 

    Slowly, I started to enjoy these no-disturbance weekends and eventually relieved my neighbor of the key-safekeeping duties.

    Step 3: Meditation retreats

    I rolled my eyes when a friend suggested this to me once, this was not for me, I said. Eventually, I changed my stance and decided to give it a chance. Zeroed in on a weekend retreat. 

    The first thing they did upon admission was to have me deposit my cell. ‘Sucka!!! I had two years of practice. It was a hit from the get-go; the retreat was in nature, the instructor was super calm, and she didn’t have us wake up at 4 am to enjoy the true meditation experience. 

    The initial few hours were tough; in silent meditation, my mind drifted to every possible realm.

    Did I bring my house keys?

    Did I forget to turn the tap and stove off at home?

    Did I turn off the humidifier?

    Did I take the garbage out?

    Did I make the credit card payment? Am I overdue?

    Did I let Dad know I was going? I hope Mom has informed him.

    This place is so beautiful, I love nature; one day, I will be able to afford a house here, maybe? I wonder what the downpayment would be?

    This top itches at the shoulder.

    Call it my basic brain, or my mundane life, the random thoughts first slowed down and then almost stopped. That state of being and not being, at the same time was immensely calming. A few minutes of that floating feeling was a high like nothing I had experienced before. Like all good things, this feeling was interrupted too.

    By an image of Shawshank Redemption’s Andy Dufresne stepping out of this solitary cell, smiling.

    andy dufresne from the movie shawshank redemption in the climax of the movie, escaping the
    That scene from Shawshank Redemption
  • If You Desire to be Good, Begin by Believing that You are Wicked – Epictetus

    If You Desire to be Good, Begin by Believing that You are Wicked – Epictetus

    I was roaming in the neighborhood library one day, glancing through the books on the shelves to pick one for reading. I noticed that the library folks had put up some quotes from famous personalities on the walls. Francis Bacon, Newton, and Gandhi were all featured. 

    As I head to check out my book, I notice another quote from Epictetus on the wall opposite me. This one by Epictetus – 

    If you desire to be good, begin by believing that you are wicked.

    My first reaction to that was slight confusion – given what wicked means in our times.

    A: Yo, did you finally get that Xbox S you wanted?

    B: Nope, I got an Xbox X instead.

    A: Wicked!

    Thankfully, my brain woke up and reminded me that Epictetus belonged to a time when wicked didn’t mean what it means today. So he must have meant that you must accept the belief that you are an absolute beginner at the craft you plan to master. Your slate needs to be wiped clean. You need to be comfortable being level zero. 

    That’s the only way to avoid your ego working against you. 

    Acquisition of true knowledge of any kind- has to start with humility and a sincere love of learning.

  • Want to Witness True Happiness? Go to an Airport

    Want to Witness True Happiness? Go to an Airport

    I am a huge fan of the movie Love Actually. It’s my Christmas season staple. I watch it at least once a year, and subconsciously, my screening criteria for the inner circle of close friends is them having the same level, if not more, admiration for the movie. 

    So naturally, I carry it everywhere with me in my head. If you haven’t seen it, you are missing out on a lighthearted ode to love.

    the official poster of the movie LOVE ACTUALLY

    There is a scene in the movie where the British prime minister, played by the charismatic Hugh Grant, remarks, “Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion’s starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don’t see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere”.

    It made me think.

    Curiously, I do find that true. And this isn’t specific to Heathrow either. I am no world traveler, but the airports I have had the pleasure to visit, fortunately, painted the same picture.

    I had gone off to pick up a relative at the local airport a few months back when I witnessed the same thing.

    This airport, being a reasonably small one, allows people to receive guests inside the airport. Visuals of family reunions are heartwarming, even when they are of strangers.

    I happened to notice an older woman with a young German Shepherd, leaning by a nearby telephone pillar, with the dog on a tight leash and eyes glued to the escalators taking travelers down to the Arrivals area.

    The flight may have been delayed, because the woman was there before I found the nearest bench to sit on. Every 10 minutes or so, she and the dog would go out for a five minute walk, and then come back to the same spot and adopt the same posture.

    Twenty minutes into this, I realized another member was in her party—a very young girl who looked like her grandkid. The girl was doing the same thing. Hiding behind another pillar, with her head sticking out, eyes glued at the same spot as her granny’ scanning for a sign of somebody.

    It was apparent they were eager to meet this person. There was a lot of love and excitement in that wait. It was contagious. Definitely to the dog, because he, also from time to time, hid behind the woman to not blow her cover. Unsurprisingly though, he was the most distracted of all three.

    There was an announcement of flight arrival, and they all became extra cautious, regaining their earlier postures—woman on one corner and grandkid on another.

    Suddenly the girl and woman made eye contact, and the girl mouthed something the woman seemed to have lipread because she immediately hid behind the pillar completely, with the dog in tow. The girl must have spotted the person they were receiving. That anticipation lured me in, and I followed the girl’s movement with my eyes. 

    The mystery is going to be revealed soon enough, I told myself. 

    The girl now seemed to be tiptoeing behind a tall elderly gentleman and, without a moment’s notice, hugged him from behind. The gentleman had barely handed over a giant soft toy to the girl when the older woman and the dog made their way to this man. All three hugged like a family while the dog took turns jumping at all three or pulling at their coats. It was a sweet reunion. 

    Heartwarming! 

    At that moment, I forgot all I had heard in the news that day; the world was alive and well- a big happy family. The moment reminded me of all the goodness out there in the world. And also that the flight my relative was in had just landed.

  • Miss Temptation by Kurt Vonnegut: Summary and Review

    Miss Temptation by Kurt Vonnegut: Summary and Review

    Kurt Vonnegut’s short story Miss Temptation was first published in the 1950s by Saturday Evening Post. It also appeared later in an anthology called Welcome to the Monkey House. 

    Miss Temptation by Vonnegut: Summary and Plot Analysis

    Miss Temptation, if the name doesn’t give it away, revolves around a temptress, a young actress named Susanna, who lives in a small village one summer while performing in the nearby community theater. The beautiful woman is the object of villagers’ attention, most of whom are aware and look forward to her daily routine – which involves a barefoot sensual walk through the village. 

    She is polite to everyone but rarely ever talks to anyone but Bearse Hinkley, an elderly pharmacist, who supplies her with the city newspapers.

    One day while buying her newspapers at the drugstore, she is confronted by Corporal Norman Fuller, who has recently returned home from a tour in Korea. It was the first time he had seen her, and the experience was too overwhelming to digest. 

    He criticizes her, calling her ‘a great American actress’, not realizing it was her actual occupation. Initially thinking this is a compliment, Susanna thanks him but soon realizes it was meant as a taunt. 

    Fuller storms out not long after, making his disgust at her and for the tendency of women like her to make people like him feel ordinary and lonely. 

    Shaken by this sudden, unexpected outburst, Susanna runs back home.

    Later, the focus briefly shifts to Fuller’s life, where he is shown having dinner with his widow mother. Her mother tries to initiate a warm and light conversation with Fuller by talking about his friends and connections, but that makes Fuller sulk even more. 

    Most of his friends, if not all, had married or moved on since he left, leaving him completely and utterly alone. The conversation dies soon after him mentioning his interest in divinity school and the earlier episode of belittling Susanna.

    Fuller and Hinkley have a conversation later that night. Fuller goes on to explain his earlier stance with Susanna again, pinning his outburst on the way he had been treated by beautiful women growing up, including the ones from high school that seemed to think they were extra special. 

    Hinkley sympathizes, having been on the receiving end of such treatment in his days of youth. He later reveals that Susanna had skipped her theater performance that night. Fuller is pleased to have had any impact on a woman like her.

    The next day, as people wait for Susanna’s daily appearance and her walk, they are surprised to see a truck pulling up in front of the firehouse. 

    Susanna seemed to be moving away with her things. 

    When Norman begins her rant about Susanna again, Hinkley accuses him of being frightened of her. Fuller rejects the claim but reluctantly agrees when challenged to prove it by delivering Susanna’s papers that day.

    Norman goes to Susanna’s and finds her dressed conservatively; her room which he expected to be fitting that of a seductress’ lair, was anything but. 

    She confronts him about the outburst, demanding an explanation, at which he reveals he had no intention of chasing her away. His treatment at the hands of beautiful women like her had been a harrowing experience, which got the better of him. 

    Susanna went on to explain how quick people had always been to judge her, given her beauty, ignoring the fact that she was a human being, too, with a beating heart.

    They reconcile their differences eventually, and Fuller steps out for the village walk with Susanna on his arm.

    Miss Temptation: Review, Quotes and My Thoughts

    I went on reading the story with the preconceived notions in my head, assuming poignant sexuality as the only theme. While it was one of the more stark themes in the story, it offered way more than just that. 

    Fuller, who stands in for the lonely, not looked at twice kind of a guy, doesn’t criticize Susanna just because she is pretty; he does that also because he thinks that his bitter experience of being ignored gives him the reason. 

    At some level, it’s his deep insecurity not to be able to deserve the affection or even the attention of a beautiful young woman.

    Look at the colorful phrases used by Vonnegut to describe the characters – 

    Susanna, the golden girl of a thousand tortured daydreams

    Fuller the lonely, Fuller the homely, Fuller the bleak.

    I know it was not meant to be comedic, but my first instinct was to laugh when Susanna thanked Fuller for calling him a wonderful American actress. 

    But I was soon overcome by guilt, feeling my heart warmed by her naivete. 

    There is a gamut of emotions flying around. Fuller’s pent-up resentment against the beautiful kind, his biases apparent: 

    You do everything you can to give lonely ordinary people like me indigestion and the heebie-jeebies, and you wouldn’t even hold hands with me to keep me from falling off a cliff.

    Hinkley‘s life which was quite similar to Fuller’s in terms of the treatment meted out to him by the fair ladies, is now merely an exercise in reminiscence:

    All my pleasures are looking at what used to be pleasures.

    And then there is Susanna. Having suffered judgements of all kinds on account of her beauty.

    All through high school, people like you would look at me as if they wished I’d drop dead. They’d never dance with me, they’d never talk to me, they’d never even smile back.

    It is easy to focus on one side and completely forget the other! How mean is it to hold the biases dearer than a fellow being? How easy is it to judge and even easier to be a hypocrite?

    Susanna would probably have been the last person I sympathized with, coming into her story. 

    But that would be before my walk with Miss Temptation.