Friends of Words

Author: Swati

  • Shit , Shit, Shittttt!!!!!

    Shit , Shit, Shittttt!!!!!

    You probably imagine something went (horribly) wrong when I say this. It’s only natural to use expletives to let the frustration out. Isn’t it? 

    And you would be right in drawing that conclusion. 99% of the time. Just not this once.

    Fast forward, or rewind if you please, to the scene in the movie Aviator, where Leonardo DiCaprio, playing Howard Hughes, seems to be stuck at the phrase, ”Show me the blueprints,” repeating it umpteen times to the confusion and then horror of his colleague. 

    a screenshot of dicaprio in the movie Aviator
    Howard Hughes (played by DiCaprio) in the movie Aviator

    Hughes doesn’t seem to notice anything off. He doesn’t realize he is doing that.

    Now, why the sudden rant about this? The reason being that I recently watched a standup special on Netflix, where I suddenly felt myself paying attention to what the guy had to say, which for the past half hour I had no success doing. (Watching Netflix is a better use of time than chewing up your nails dry). 

    So the guy was talking about the sudden urges he has to randomly say things (primarily expletives) without realizing that he was doing so. He would only come to know when his well-meaning wife reminded him not to do that.

    It’s funny, the topics you can relate to strangers on, I am not particularly a fan of this guy’s work, and here I am hooked on to what he has to say. 

    Why? 

    Because he makes me realize that I have been doing that my whole life, mostly in showers randomly saying Shit or F%$& or range of other colorful expletives. For no damn reason, apparently. 

    Now, why would I do that? The mystery is too much to bear. 

    So naturally, I do a little experiment on myself.

    So for the next week, I consciously made an effort to note down what I thought when I did my random shower shout. The results were interesting. Not to bog you down with details much, but let’s just say, every time I did something like that, I was thinking of an embarrassing incident or mistake from the past. 

    And some of these incidents were more than two decades old!

    Now, this was a fascinating revelation to me for two reasons. 

    One – I didn’t expect my memory to be that sharp, like ever! Where was this frickin memory when I was sitting holed up in the library wasting away years of the ’good life, trying to memorize those horrible equations and formulae, only to forget them conveniently right before it mattered?

    Two – I never thought I could care about such incidents this much to be expressing my frustration after a 20-year time lag on random shower days without even knowing. Maybe I just assumed I was over them, but I never was. 

    So obviously, I wanted to make sure that I wasn’t the only one doing this.

    For starters, I knew that that comedian did the same thing as me, but the fact that he is a professional comedian didn’t make for a good salve. 

    Was I taking life advice from a comedian? For real? 

    I must get professional here. 

    Next step: a survey of my besties. Misery loves company, I gotta find me some more of it. 

    Funnily enough, one confident soul came forth. His thing was that he would randomly blurt out one-liners and catchprases from movies, like ‘Aye, Aye, sir’, ‘Fire away,’.

    And, unlike me, he would do that even when in public. He would realize he did it as soon as the words came out of his mouth, feeling embarrassed for himself and piquing the curiosity of or sometimes scaring some fine pedestrians in the process.

    I laughed when he told me that; I felt a great sense of belonging—belonging to a group of random shouters and proud of it. 

    We are all humans, all unique yet so similar. The feeling is humbling and exhilarating at the same time.

    John Donne wasn’t wrong when he said, ‘No man is an island.’ 

    So let’s maybe not try to be one?

  • Are you watching closely?

    Are you watching closely?

    I call myself a Nolan fan, mostly of his earlier works (to be clear, I fully comprehend what went down in Interstellar and Tenet. wink, wink). The Prestige happens to be my favorite Christopher Nolan movie of all time. I must have seen it more than five times. And given how obsessed I am with it, that number will not be static.

    So why the sudden rant about The Prestige?

    There are many things I love about the movie, the passionate characters dedicated to their craft and their willingness to go to any levels necessary, the not-so-friendly competition between the magicians, the beautiful women that don’t shy away from holding a mirror to their men, the visionaries, the acolytes – you name it. 

    But something from the movie that trumps them all in my little universe is the question, “Are you watching closely?”

    Alfred Borden (played by Christian Bale) during the famous scene in The Prestige

    Borden would say that multiple times in the movie, enthralling the audience with his majestic magic tricks. The guy is cheeky enough to challenge his crowd into watching him closely, daring them to expose the flaw in his tricks.

    He would not shy away from putting his happiness and even his life on the line for the love of the craft that he held so dear. 

    Why does the fear of being exposed not threaten him? What infuses in him the bravery of the daredevil? Is it mastery of the craft? Is the attraction of the spotlight much too intriguing?

    I have never found an answer that I could find satisfying enough for more than two days. 

    Are you watching closely?

    Like in the movie, this question works on so many levels.

    Say I was watching closely, closely enough to have been able to find a flaw in his tricks? Where would that have got me? 

    Maybe on that path of obsession to be looking for flaws in every magic trick from there on? And why just magic? Maybe that spilled over to every other area of my life? 

    What if I watched every ‘good relationship’ closely enough to see the cracks in it? Maybe I started dissecting every argument I see being made so that I could see where all it had been patched to create the illusion of the truth? Perhaps I would even doubt the perfect relationship between a Mr. Fox and a Ms. Kelly from You’ve Got Mail. 

    Mr. Fox and Ms. Kelly in You’ve Got Mail

    After all, Mr. Fox only went back to see her on their blind date because she was pretty, did he not?

    I wonder if watching everything closely would turn me into a disbeliever,a cynic? And do I want to be that?

    I do want to see things for what they are. I do! But to what extent do I go? Where do I stop? At what point do I become a Hypocrite if I choose to close my eyes to the truth? And would happiness/contentment elude me if I do?

    The real Richard Winters (left) and Damian Lewis, who plays the character of Richard Winters in Band of Brothers

    I love Richard Winters from the Band of Brothers and Sean Connery in The Hunt for Red October (who doesn’t?), but I made it a point never to research them enough to get to a point where I could find a fly in that love ointment. I am not oblivious to the dangers of doing this. 

    This logic (if you could even call it that) has a lot of flaws. I have researched enough about Ostrich burying their heads to make their problems disappear. Surprise, Surprise! That isn’t true either, but it is a Roman myth.

    So if Alfred Borden were ever to ask me, “Are you watching closely?” he would have a question coming right back at him “Do I want to?”

  • Ladies by Anton Chekhov: Summary and Review

    Ladies by Anton Chekhov: Summary and Review

    Let’s consider the following two statements:

    I’m surprised I didn’t think of it sooner! Listen, here’s what I can offer you.. Next week the clerk at our orphanage is going to retire.If you like, you can take his post! There you are!

    I have no post for you! None, none! Leave me alone! Don’t torment me! Let me be, finally, do me a favor!

    If I tell you that the same person said both of these things to the same person, what would your impression be of that person? 

    Would you consider them bipolar, or would you give them the benefit of the doubt? 

    I hope you chose the latter because the events that transpired between Scenario 1 and Scenario 2 are a fun ride!

    These scenarios are from Chekhov’s short story Ladies is a comical take on the issues of nepotism and corruption in the Russian society. One of his earlier works, published way back in 1886, is also available as part of a short story collection called Fifty Two Stories published by Alfred A Knopf, translated by Richard Pevear and Larissa Volokhonsky.

    Ladies: Summary and Plot Analysis

    Fyodor Petrovich is a director of public education in a Russian province. He considers himself a fair and generous man. The story opens in his office, where he meets a teacher, Mr. Vremensky. 

    Vremensky, having recently lost his normal voice after a comic mishap, is considered unfit to discharge his educational duties and is being dismissed.

    With such a voice, you can not go on working as a teacher. How did you lose it?

    I was sweaty and drank a cold beer.

    The teacher, who has a family to support, is distraught at the dismissal, and the director seems restless about leaving a man such as him to fend for himself after 14 years of service. The director suddenly has an epiphany and, realizing that a clerk in the orphanage was retiring, offers Vremensky his job. 

    I’m surprised I didn’t think of it sooner! Listen, here’s what I can offer you.. Next week the clerk at our orphanage is going to retire. If you like, you can take his post! There you are!

    The director feels good about himself, having done such a noble deed. 

    His happiness, however, doesn’t last long when later at the dinner table, his wife asks for a favor for one of her acquaintances- happens to be for the same job that he previously offered Vremensky to a chap named Polzhukin. He tries to resist, but his wife is adamant that Polzhukin be given that job.

    And you know my rule: I never make appointments through connections.

    That fop? Not for anything!

    Why not?

    You see, my dear, if a young man doesn’t act directly, but through women, it means he’s trash! Why doesn’t he come to me himself?

    It’s not for the salary, but just… After all, it’s government service.

    Later the same evening, he realizes that he had received a letter from the mayor’s wife recommending the same guy, K.N.Polzhukin. After that, not a day passes when he doesn’t receive one recommending him. 

    On one occasion, Polzhukin presented himself directly to the director. The director, visibly disinterested, is quick to express his dissatisfaction with how the solicitation has gone so far.

    Listen, why is it you didn’t turn directly to me but found it necessary to trouble the ladies first?

    Fyodor doesn’t understand why Polzhukin, a man hailing from a well-to-do family, would be interested in a clerical job. Polzhukin clarifies that it is not the money he was after but the government position. He finally produces a document that the director has no power to veto; he has no option now, but to give him the job.

    He took a paper from his pocket and handed it to the director. Beneath the attestation, written in bureaucratic style and script, was the signature of the Governor. Everything suggested that the Governor had signed it without reading it, just to get rid of some importunate lady.

    Unhappy about having to do that, Fyodor also has to rescind the offer for the same job that he had extended earlier to Vremensky. Unable to find the right words and tone to deliver the news, completely overwhelmed, he explodes on the very man his sympathies were supposed to be directed towards.

    I have no post for you! None, none! Leave me alone! Don’t torment me! Let me be, finally, do me a favor!

    Ladies: Review and My Thoughts

    Fyodor started off as a strong, principled man who took pride in doing the right thing. He was obviously pained by Vremesnky’s calamitous situation, revealing that he has his heart at the right place. 

    As soon as he had the conversation with his wife about the position, things started to change, followed by numerous other referrals for the same person, putting him on edge. These people were providing unsolicited referrals for someone that was already well-to-do. 

    He does not like Polzhukin one bit, mainly because he has women doing his bidding. He also feels that with the comfortable financial standing that he is in, he doesn’t need the job as much as a relatively poorer Vremensky. 

    All through this reader still has the impression that the guy is not going to break. But as soon as he sees the letter signed by the Governor, he gives up. 

    The same man had remarked that he would never make appointments through connections. Now in Fyodor’s mind, it could have been a woman that could have prompted the Governor’s signature prompted by a woman’s persistent pestering, but how does that justify Fyodor or the Governor making the wrong call?

    John Amaechi once said -’ You can not be a part-time man of principle’. 

    Fyodor better sit up and take notice.

  • Before the Wedding by Anton Chekhov: Summary and Review

    Before the Wedding by Anton Chekhov: Summary and Review

    Unmarried girls are crazy to get married, but they are the only ones, because it is no good at all. I’m married, I should know. Give it time; you’ll see for yourself.

    If you are interested in reading plenty of (good) advice like the one above, you should pick up Anton Chekhov’s short story called Before the Wedding. The story was first published in October 1880 in Dragonfly magazine. It is now available as part of a short story collection called Prank published by The New York Review books translated by Maria Bloshteyn.

    Before the Wedding: Summary and Plot Analysis

    The story opens with the marriage of Podzarylkins’s daughter to a collegiate assessor named Nazariev. Contrary to expectations around such a ceremony, the betrothal went without a hitch. The Podzarylkins’s daughter is entirely unremarkable, considers good spelling as the best intelligence one could have, and loves tall men and the name “Roland.” 

    The Podzatylkins’daughter is remarkable by the virtue of being completely unremarkable. Since no one has ever seen any evidence of her intellect, let’s not talk about it.

    Nazariev, on the other hand, fancies himself as a real ladies’ man, talks loudly, and doesn’t shy from recommending literature reading to almost every woman he meets. He does not make much money, barely enough to cover his tobacco expenses.

    The match looks doomed from the get go.

    After the wedding, the daughter was called on to visit her mother. Her mother has some advice to give to her daughter. She starts with calling her husband names and ends with the same, sprinkling random words of caution about her son-in-law in between. 

    The mother doesn’t seem enthusiastic about her own marriage and advises the daughter to advise caution against her husband and father. In the mother’s mind, nothing good seems to ever come out of a marriage. She also feels offended by her daughter’s complete lack of moroseness on the occasion of the betrothal. 

    How bad would it look to the community- a child not crying! As if the daughter never loved her parents in the first place and is happy to leave them

    Yesterday that ugly balding nitwit – your father, I mean -decided to play the joker. He handed me a shot glass. I thought it was wine, but it was vinegar and herring oil instead.

    You didn’t weep once; what’s there to be so happy about? Everyone must have thought that you are happy to be leaving your parents. That’s how it looks.

    A husband is never going to give you sound or sensible advice. He’s just going to do whatever suits him best. Don’t listen to your father either.

    I hope he swells up till he can’t move!

    The daughter left to see her father soon after. There was plenty of advice to be had there as well. A little more laid back than the mother, the father began with a lot of praise for Nazariev. 

    He then mentioned the vast amount of dowry he had to give him for the marriage, then warned about husbands never having their best interests in mind and finally closing with how untrustworthy his wife and any mother-in-law in the world was.

    Hear your mother out, sweetie, but be careful. She’s nice enough but no less of a double-dealing, flighty, namby-pambyish unbeliever for all that. Her advice can’t compare to that of your father, the very author of your being.

    What does your husband love? Your personality? Your kindness? Your tender feelings? None of that! He loves your dowry.

    Husbands don’t take to their mothers-in-law. I detested mine so much I put burnt cork in her coffee.

    A father comes first – always! Don’t listen to anyone else.

    Nazariev comes to meet his betrothed soon after. He begins with how much he had missed her and then goes on with a lengthy rant about her parents having duped him by not offering the amount of dowry as promised initially. 

    Also, that her father had not disclosed his correct rank before the betrothal, he is adamant to bring her parents to heel.

    That was before the wedding. You don’t need to be a prophet to figure out what happens after.

    Before the Wedding: Review and My Thoughts

    What’s fun about this story is its relevance to our times. It doesn’t seem like much has changed about the perception of mothers-in-law over the last century and a half. 

    The mother hates the father, and the father doesn’t seem to respect the mother. The husband seems to care only about the money and the wife is almost clueless. 

    What was consistent in the message was that her parents, who were at loggerheads with each other, lacked trust in the institution of marriage. Both the parents caution her about trusting her husband too much. No one would love her the way they would. After all, parents love their kid for who they were, unlike the husband, who was in it for his own personal gain – dowry in their case. 

    Of course, the main thing he had on for the discussion when the husband came was how he had been duped on the dowry.

    Chekhov’s message for you here – married or not – Proceed with caution.

  • A Little Joke by Anton Chekhov: Summary and Analysis

    A Little Joke by Anton Chekhov: Summary and Analysis

    This is the time of the year when love is everywhere, absolutely everywhere! 

    You just can’t miss the red roses, the greeting cards lining up the aisles everywhere you go. You might also be getting those subtle hints from your partner, your love interest, in anticipation of the gifts they are expecting, come the 14th of February! 

    What if they say that you will be given a joke instead – a joke that will stay with you the rest of your life.

    A Little Joke by Anton Chekhov is not your typical love story. The story is one of his earlier works, published back in 1886. It is also available as part of a short story collection called Fifty Two Stories published by Alfred A Knopf, translated by Richard Pevear and Larissa Volokhonsky.

    A Little Joke: Summary and Plot Analysis

    The story opens with an unnamed young man and a young woman named Nadezhda Petrovna on a bright winter noon. The unnamed man, who is also the narrator of the story, tries to persuade the woman to slide down the mountain with him. The woman is petrified at the prospect and disagrees, but after multiple requests from the man, agrees to do so.

    As they sled and are mid-air, the man whispers, ‘I love you Nadya’. They finally sled to the bottom and come to a halt. Nadya is completely harrowed from such a scary experience and vows never to do it again.

    I wouldn’t do that again for anything. Not for anything in the world! I nearly died!

    It’s not long after she starts wondering if he had said anything of the sort. She looked at the man’s face for clues that might reveal more, but there was nothing to be found. She wondered if nothing was said, and she imagined it all. 

    The riddle obviously troubles her. Were those words spoken or not? Yes or no? Yes or no? It’s a question of pride, honor, life and happiness.

    She is visibly disturbed by her cluelessness on the matter. The man offers to take her home. She declines. Determined to find out the truth for herself, against her better judgment, she asks the narrator if they could sled again.

    I… I like sledding. Can we do it one more time?

    They sled again, and the same thing is repeated. She is in agony and wants to know the truth. It still evades her. They retire for the day. Nadya leaves a note for the narrator that if he goes sledding, she would like to tag along.

    If you go sliding down the hill for me, will you take me along?

    They go sledding again, and the same incident is repeated. Nadya doesn’t have a clue if those words are actually being said or she has been imagining it all. But that doesn’t matter to her anymore.

    She soon gets used to the phrase, as to wine or morphine. She can’t live without it. True, to go flying down the hill is as frightening as before, but now fear and danger lend a special allure to the words of love, words that constitute as much of a riddle as before and torment her soul.

    Winter fades away, and Nadya is visibly sad now since neither the wind nor the narrator will be around to say those magical words to her, the latter on account of his long-term move to Petersburg. 

    Years pass by, and the narrator reveals that Nadya is now married with children, and he is still not sure why he chose to joke with her.

    As for me, now that I am older, I no longer understand why I said those words, why I was joking…

    The readers are left wondering if it was actually a joke.

    A Little Joke: Review and My Thoughts

    If you ask me, I would call it a load of bollocks. No way! It could not have been a joke. But that is the die-hard romantic in me having a knee-jerk reaction.

    Note to self: Calm down, tiger! Let’s try to be as logical as we can be.

    The guy observes Nadya closely and is able to see the whole spectrum of emotions on her face. 

    Strike one.

    He knows what to say to make her feel happy when seeing her in pain. 

    Strike two.

    After years apart, he still thinks about her and their time together when they were young, eons ago. There you have it.

    Strike three.

    But the funny thing is being right about this (in my head) doesn’t make me happy. There is a lot of pain and regret about leaving things unsaid. The dark clouds of what – if is not something I would want hovering over my head for the rest of my life.

    Would you?

    Moral of the story: use your words. Enunciate. Life is loads of fun that way.